Day 21: Something I Wish I Could Forget

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.

I didn't post last night because the only thing I could think of, I didn't want to post. Well, here I sit roughly 24 hours later, and I haven't come up with anything better.

The thing that I wish I could forget more than anything else would be seeing Ace like I did for the last time...legs suspended in the air, laying on his back, tubes down his throat breathing for him, the blood that covered the floor. I can still hear the ventilator breathing for him as I said "goodbye"/sobbed into the underside of his neck. This photo is much "cleaner" than what I have burned into my memory. This horse was prepped for colic surgery but the surgery had not yet begun. The website I found this photo on states that at the clinic all of the operating rooms have windows/viewing rooms but because colic surgery is so "messy" they close the blinds during it. I can attest to that. I saw a surgeon covered in blood...then I saw the operating room floor that was smeared red with blood like something out of a horror movie.

Day 5: Favorite Memory

Yeah, I know. I forgot to post this yesterday. Sorry.
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.

(the above collage was made of photos taken when we horse showed in Ocala, FL. February 2004)
My favorite memory? Ace. I know that's pretty broad...after all Ace was a part of my life for roughly 5 years. He was the greatest horse, ever. As far as I'm concerned that is. No, he didn't have the greatest confirmation. No, he wasn't well bred. No, he wasn't the fanciest mover. No, he didn't win every class we entered. Yes, he cribbed. All of this considered, he is still the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
The first time I rode Ace he was 4 (summer 2000) and had just come to Jensens. Having been a racehorse he had been ridden plenty, but knew nothing about life off the track. It amazed me that he didn't know that he had to turn in the corners of the ring...he'd just keep going until he ran into the fence. I kept riding him though, through the nastiness in his stall (he would bite and kick...and of course the cribbing). I started leasing Ace in April 2001. Once I started leasing him it was all over. I went into the lease thankful that it was monthly so I could cancel at any time...I didn't like him very much and liked the comfort of being able to end it if I chose. Well after a few months I was in love. He more I worked with him the better he got. His personality started to change. He no longer was nasty in his stall, he no longer bit, he no longer kicked. Too bad he kept cribbing. :(
I took my high school graduation money and bought Ace, June 2003.
We started showing in the children's (3') at rated shows during the winter of 2003. I February 2004 we went to Ocala, FL for a week for the HITS show there. By this time I had aged out of the Children's and was now doing the Younger Adult's...still 3'. We also did a few Adult Medal classes while in FL. We ended up only come out of the show with 1 ribbon...it was an 8th but considering the competition, I'll take it. :)
By October 2004 things changed. Ace coliced so bad that he required surgery. Following surgery he was in the hospital with infection for 3 weeks. I didn't think that it was possible, to become closer to each other, but we did.
For the next 9 months (before Ace passed) we were closer than I ever thought imaginable. Every time I walked into the barn (I didn't even have to say anything) Ace would nicker to me. I don't know if it was that he saw me get out of my car, or if he heard my footsteps, but he would nicker, without fail.
If he was in the pasture I could call him at the gate and he'd come running, regardless of where he was in the field. He would also followed me without a halter. I could go in circles, stop, walk, run...he'd always follow me and do what I did.
Man, I miss that boy.
(The above picture was taken on day 2 of August at Patterson's. We were showing in the Older Children's. This was definitely our best show over all. We had our best show courses, ever...we ribboned well against good competition. It was great.)

Happy 15th Birthday

to my sweet sweet boy. Today you should be turning 15. Today you should be outside enjoying the sunshine. Today I should be making you a nice warm bran mash for dinner with apples and carrots. Today I feel as though there is a dark cloud hovering over my head despite the sun shining in the windows. I think about you every day. I miss you every day. Somehow today it manages to hurt just a little bit more.